"If you want to learn how to be happy,
you have to know what is sadness first."
–ETGAR KERET

INNER CITY STORIES

Someone else. Someone new. I didn’t expect this to happen so quickly. I didn’t expect someone to come into my life and become my home. He changed everything. I didn’t think that anyone could make me feel so special and be this important to me. He is different.  It’s time to start over again, from the beginning. Maybe he'll be better and this will work out. That's what I want. I want it to work out and find love again. It takes a lot to trust someone after what you’ve been through, and trust them not to put you through all that pain again. I can trust him already after only two or three weeks. If he told me his deepest darkest secrets, I’d keep them to myself. We joke around, but when seriousness comes we switch our mindsets. We talk about our feelings, how we feel about each other, our lives, our futures, and other people that matter to us; these are all things that come up in our daily conversations. We’re truthful with each other.  I’m really hoping it works out, but if not, I'm young and I’ll keep trying. My friends and family, whose opinions matter to me, are telling me, “Keep him”. It is different from my past relationship. I not only feel happier and better now, but I also feel like I’m in a relationship with my best friend. I never understood why people say, “You fall in love with your best friend”; now, I get it.

After just one week I miss him. I miss his smell. I miss the way I felt in his arms and the way his lips felt on mine. The way my hand fit perfectly in his and how protected I felt around him. I love the way he takes control of his life. He knows what he wants and works to get it. He won’t give up on things that are important to him. He’s laid back, though, and doesn’t take everything in life so seriously. He’s mature. He can take a joke and have fun, but also knows how to be a sweet and cute boyfriend. He’s the one guy who is on my mind when I wake up and before I fall asleep. He is the person I’d want to be stuck with in a bad situation because I know if I was freaking out and worried, he’d be able to calm me down with his comfort and stupid jokes.

I won’t make the same mistakes as last time. I won’t push people out of my life just for the one guy. I want all the people I love to get along. I want to be able to spend a lot of time with them. I want to have alone time and not be stuck with one person all day, every day. I’m going to be mature in this relationship. Now I know what went wrong before. I’m going to do everything not to make the same mistakes. The only thing I have to do now is let my family know. My brother is very protective, but I love him. Let’s see how they react.

They don’t know who he is. I haven’t told a soul besides the person who is like my sister. Her boyfriend also knows, but that’s only because she didn’t want to be a third wheel on our first date. The four of us make jokes about each other that will probably stay with us in our lives for a long time. That is what I want in my life. I want to make memories that will bring happiness to my life not only a couple years from now, but forever. We laugh together about stupid stuff that isn’t really all that funny. We tell each other, “Fight me,” even though we both know we could never physically hurt each other. We are sarcastic and act all tough, but we know if we were together the only thing that will happen is that I’ll be me in his arms, all snuggled up, warm, comfortable, and protected. We protect each other without limits. I worry about him at times when he can get hurt. I don’t want to wake up to find out he’s been in harm’s way. I think I might be falling in love again. Is this right? Will it turn into love? Will this be my future? Only time will tell.

Marcin, will you be my future?