INNER CITY STORIES
The truth I hold took years to expose.
I kept it locked up, and never told.
I feel so ashamed, so weak.
I cry and wish someone had heard my shrieks.
Still in my mind echoes the question,
I could have done something
I should have done something
But what could I have done?
I mean, He weighed a ton,
Pressing me down against the cold hard ground.
I should have been stronger, faster, or merely loud.
Maybe if I hadn’t worn shorts, or stayed out late.
Or if being a monster wasn’t just another fucking human trait.
Of course, I was thankful to be alive,
Until the nightmares began to arrive.
They don’t stop. I try to think of different ways I could have fought.
This somehow being my fault consumes my every thought.
Each night I lie awake, knowing when I close my eyes, He’ll be there.
My childhood dreams, once filled with wonder, have all disappeared
Only to be replaced by this recurrent nightmare.
I reimagine his cold, dark eyes piercing the dim light,
The way He held my wrists, so cruel, so tight.
I felt my tears flow with every thrust.
Yet somehow He still managed to be consumed with lust.
How I wonder if He thinks about that night like I do,
If He remembers, regrets, or ever admits the truth.
Maybe, like me, He hopes denial will change the facts,
Or maybe he continues ruining lives with his barbaric attacks.
This I may never know the answer to;
Too scared to tell, no one ever even had a clue.
That’s exactly what He wanted, of course.
He explained this with a knife, his glare, along with much force,
For him to get that satisfaction is what hurts the worst.